Reasons you might actually want to go out with me

In this short pitch, I’ll explain why giving me just 5 hours of your time could be the smartest (and most entertaining) investment you’ll ever make.

Loyal

I’m ridiculously loyal, once we’re together, it’s like every other woman got Thanos-snapped out of existence

I don’t chase attention, I build connection. Real ones. The kind you don’t delete when things get hard.

I’ve got a good sense of humor

I come with unlimited jokes and questionable ideas. Some will make you proud, others will make you question my sanity — but at least, you’ll never stop laughing

My humor comes with layers; some clever, some chaotic, and some that even I don’t fully understand.

I like cooking

I won’t make food as good as yours, but I’ll cook every day (or almost every day) so you don’t have to keep surviving on microwave meals.

The only catch? I’m not the biggest fan of doing the dishes…
So, we might need to make a deal: I cook, you charm me into cleaning.

I’ve got good genetics

I might not be the most handsome guy in the world, but my genes are strong, and with yours, I’m pretty sure we’d create the most beautiful (and unstoppable) descendants possible.

I’ve done the math, statistically speaking, our DNA compatibility could improve the human race by at least 15%.

I know a little bit of everything

I can ride horses, hunt with a bow, fish like a pro, fix things around the house, and if that’s not enough, I can even make you a website to relive every adventure we share

Whether it’s a wild adventure or a lazy Sunday, I’ll make sure we turn it into a story worth remembering.

I’m a solid driver

You’ll always get the passenger princess experience.

My free hand? Always on you.

Your only job? Pick the perfect song to match the vibe

Distance doesn’t scare me

You’re leaving soon, and I know that means miles between us, but I’m not the kind of man who gives up easily.Once I’ve got my papers, I’ll go wherever you are; another country, another language… even another planet if I have to.
Because if we build something real, geography doesn’t stand a chance

So yeah, if you ever move to the moon, I’ll start packing my space suit

I’m thoughtful and affectionate

From a simple love letter to the most unexpected, crazy gift, whether it’s our anniversary or just a random Wednesday, I’ll always give my all to make you feel comfortable and happy.
Though… I might also bite your butt for no reason.

There are a thousand things I’m kinda good at… and about ten thousand I completely suck at.
But reading about them would be boring — it’s way more fun to find out in person, or maybe during one of those long phone calls we’ll end up having